Male arrested for millions of burglaries in every country on the entire planet
December 20th 2011
A MALE was arrested as part of an operation last night on suspicion of 4,029,289,486 counts of burglary, 2,957,292,589 counts of theft and one count of operating a sleigh whilst drunk.
Santa Claus (69) was apprehended as a result of an intelligence-led operation launched by West Midlands Police Force CID lasting over the past seven months.
At the time of the arrest, Claus was found to be in possession of several million pounds worth of assorted high value goods and also a quantity of marked mince pies and carrots which has been left in ‘bait’ houses on several different continents.
When searched in custody, Claus was found to be in possession of a concealed supply of candy canes, yule log and Christmas pudding.
Claus was caught in a sting operation after targeting a specially rigged house in the Aldridge area of Walsall at which at least seventy police officers were waiting. Detectives believe he was commencing a practice run ahead of a larger crime spree planned for around December 24th.
DS Kimo, from Force CID, said “Santa Claus is a calculating and dangerous criminal. Working alone we believe him to be responsible for thefts of mince pies, carrots and brandy around the world, possibly as far back as the fifteenth century. We are working with Interpol and other partnership agencies to identify both victims and witnesses.
“The operation to catch Claus has been long and difficult. Criminals of Claus’s character are thankfully rare but people around the world should be able to feel at ease knowing he is now safely behind bars where is belongs.”
DS Kimo also warned against copy-cat criminal activity in the wake of Clause’s arrest.
“Make no mistake, criminal activity on this scale will not be tolerated and we are able to focus the full force of our resources to ensure that offenders are brought to justice”.
Claus has been charged with all but four of the charges of burglary for which he was arrested and has been remanded in police custody until his appearance at court later this week.
The nine flying reindeer that Claus had with him at the time of his arrest have been turned over to the care of the RSPCA for re-homing.