I want the one I can’t have…

Officers up and down the country are, amongst other things, currently jumping for joy at the prospect of being awarded an official medal to mark the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee.

This medal will be awarded to all members of the emergency services, armed forces and prison staff who qualify by having completed five years in their chosen professions by this February.

Here in lies the rub.

Officers with less service than this – like myself – don’t qualify and as a consequence, get no shiny medals to proudly pin to our tunics. Surely quality should be valued over quantity? Apparently not!

Not to worry though – after careful consideration and an expensive, exhaustive design process a solution has been found.

Allow me to present my unofficial, homemade Queen’s Diamond Jubilee medal for anyone who would have qualified for the actual one, were it not for the five year limit!

The unofficial Diamond Jubilee Medal for emergency service members with LESS than five years' time in the job.

Now I think you’ll all agree that just like a fine watch, the craftsmanship and attention to detail involved in producing this very collectable item is simply unsurpassed.

Obviously the pictured medal is police-specific, although I am able to customise the face to include any branch of the services.

Orders on the back of a £50 note to myself at Walsall Police Station…

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3 Responses to “I want the one I can’t have…”


  1. 1 sam 03/07/2011 at 13:58

    Sucks you don’t get one. Don’t really understand the 5 year rule, if you are a good policeman then you deserve it.

    Fingers crossed for another jubilee so you get one then

  2. 2 Rox 11/08/2011 at 07:39

    I’ve just discovered your blog – OMG you crack me up. Humour and protection? Now that’s what I call value : )

  3. 3 Anonymous 29/09/2011 at 17:23

    Its disgusting you all don’t get medals, no matter how long yu been in service you are still looking after queen and country, no wonder there is low moral in the force. You all deserve medals in my view!!


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